Monday, September 28, 2009

Taylor Smithson's Worst Date Ever

Miles Mosher. Even just uttering the name sent shivers down the girl’s spines. “He was everyone’s dream guy”, Taylor says as she gazes into empty space dreaming of the boy she almost had.

Taylor was only a freshman, but when she walked through the doors of Sacred Heart High, not only did she walk into school, but also she walked into the beginning of her love affair with Miles.
It was the second day of school when she first spotted him. She was listening to her ipod by the cafeteria when Miles Mosher walked by in his Coldplay t-shirt and jeans. She looked up slowly and caught a glimpse of his sparkling hazel eyes and chestnut brown hair. She had to have him.

As the weeks went on at Sacred Heart High, Taylor began to do the unthinkable. She found out Miles’ class schedule and purposely took the longer way to classes just so they’d run into each other. After days of catching each other’s eye, Taylor finally made the big gesture. She said hi. And he said hi back.
THIS WAS HUGE! Taylor pulled her razor scooter out of her locker and raced home as fast as she could. She couldn’t wait to tell her mom about her encounter with her dream guy. Taylor thought her week couldn’t get any better. However, that night Taylor signed on AIM just like every night. This night, however, Taylor got an instant message from a screen name she hadn’t recognized. It was Miles.

As the two started talking they realized they had a lot in common. Miles played ice hockey and Taylor played field hockey. Miles had read every Shakespeare play he could get his hands on, and Taylor had seen most the plays. They hit it off. At the end of the conversation, the unthinkable happened…Miles asked Taylor if she’d like to go sledding on Friday. The emotions that ran through her were shock, fear, love, excitement, happiness…she never could have imagined this.
Friday night came along and Taylor spent hours getting ready to go sledding. “Looking back on it it’s kind of dumb to get ready to sled since you’re in snow gear, but I wanted to win his heart over, even if I had to look like a giant marshmallow”, recalls Taylor.

The doorbell rang promptly at 8 o’clock and Taylor was on her way. The ride to the sledding hill seemed awkwardly quiet. Taylor remembers thinking that hiding behind her computer made it much easier to talk to such a dreamy guy as Miles Mosher. On the sledding hill, things started to get better. It was their first trip down the hill and he wanted to ride on the same sled.

Taylor sat in front, Miles sat behind her, holding her tightly so the cold winter winds wouldn’t freeze her to death. Then, it happened. Then hit a bump, Taylor’s head flew back and hit Miles square in the nose. Blood went everywhere. They rushed to the hospital after realizing both of Miles’ eyes were swelling up. She had done it…she had ruined the date. She had broken his nose. She never heard from him after that night. “I think he deleted me from his buddy list”, says Taylor.

7 comments:

  1. oh wow, that could ruin a date! i'm so sorry to hear that, but i enjoyed it immensely! I think the only thing I would suggest for the writer is to show us more of the action when they were sledding, than to tell us step by step. Great story! :)

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  2. Haha- I thought this one was really funny, there could've been more details describing how the blood went everywhere and how his eyes began to swell instead of just telling - but I liked it. (Sorry Taylor.)

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  3. I think this is a nice, entertaining story! I especially like the marsh mellow quote. I like the suspense and build-up to the date, but I think you could have maybe done even more with that. Good job, though!

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  4. I think this story is great because the simple details about the razor scooter and buddy list definitely sets the scene. Brings me back to the old days!

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  5. That is very funny!! I like the detail, the suspense until we get to the actual date and then the surprise kicker.
    Try to work on detail and color. Add more description, like for example, for the date, Taylor wore... or did this or that, etc.

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  6. aw--- this makes me sad for her! I loved the picture that you created--but I think it would've added more to the story if you had more quotes from the characters.

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